Genogram: Map 3 Generations & Uncover Hidden Trauma Patterns
1. Genogram vs. Family Tree—A Quick Re-Cap
A traditional tree shows who is related; a genogram shows how they relate:
2. Set a Laser-Focused Purpose Before You Draw
- Theme: Medical red flags? Break-up cycles? Migration grief?
- Generations: Three minimum (Bowen), but go four if you have solid records.
- Consent & Care: Warn family members about possible emotional triggers; secure verbal or written OK before logging sensitive details.
3. Collect the Raw Data—Think Like a Detective
- Vital stats: births, marriages, divorces, deaths, migrations.
- Health: Diagnosed depression, heart disease, addictions.
- Context: Wars, economic crashes, immigration laws that shaped choices.
- “Ghosts in the nursery” (Selma Fraiberg’s term) – unspoken losses, miscarriages, or adoptions that still echo today.
4. Draft the Skeleton—Standard Symbols & Quick Hacks
- Squares = male, Circles = female, Diamonds = unknown/other.
- Horizontal line = partnership; vertical drop = children (oldest left).
- / = divorce, ≈ = separation, ║║ = cohabitation.
- Tip: Use free software like GenoPro or Lucidchart; export to PDF for sessions.
5. Add the “Living Ink”—Relationship Dynamics
Symbol**Meaning━━** Very close/“double bind” closeness – – – Distant / cut-off ≈≈≈ Chronic conflict ➤ One-way cutoff Layer icons for miscarriage (◆), abuse (⚡), adoption (⇄), blended families (⇆).
6. Analyze Like a Systems Therapist
- Repeating Diagnoses: Depression every second generation? Flag for CBT + lifestyle work.
- Triangles: Parent uses child to manage marital stress—target boundary scripts.
- Birth-Order Hot-Spots: Scapegoat often middle child—link to Bowen projection process.
- Migration Stress: Identity confusion in first-gen teens—plan acculturation support.
7. Digital Shortcuts & DNA Add-Ons
- 23andMe or AncestryDNA for medical alleles → import risks into genogram layer.
- Notion database to tag each ancestor’s trauma, coping style, and resilience factor.
- Canva Whiteboard for visually-impaired clients—high-contrast icons & text.
8. Update & Refine—Genograms Are Living Documents
Revisit after births, deaths, or major moves. Each update is a new conversation starter about shifting roles, fresh strengths, and emerging resources.
9. From Insight to Action
🌱 Want a step-by-step framework to heal scapegoat wounds and toxic family roles?
Check out my Scapegoat Recovery Course—videos, worksheets, and live examples that show you how to stay differentiated and break legacy patterns. Learn more →
