Scapegoating & Narcissistic Family Roles

What it is. In many narcissistic families the scapegoat absorbs projected shame while the "golden child" is idealized. Books like Jay Reid's Breaking Free from the Scapegoat and Dr. Ramani's It's Not You show how this role crushes self-esteem and fosters chronic guilt.

What the research says. Projection-identification (object-relations) and Bowen's identified-patient concept explain why the most resilient child is targeted. Healing requires reality testing, boundary clarity, and exposure to healthier relational templates.

How I help. My Scapegoat Recovery Course and 1-to-1 sessions use IFS to unburden shame-laden parts, CBT to reframe "I'm the problem" beliefs, and strategic contact plans (low contact or no contact) to end re-traumatizing loops. Clients practice assertive scripts, reclaim hobbies, and design future-self visions independent of family role assignments.